every fucking week i maintain my composure 

because it’s all ive got 

and every fucking day i wake up and i look at this thing in the mirror and i have to force myself to be content with it 

im really not okay 

and i think ive done a very good job at fooling people 

im just nothing i want to be and i cant just change that like O0O0 OPTIMISTIC POINT OF FUCKING VIEW ON SHITTY FUCKING LIFE LET ME GO FUCKING FUCK MYSELF 

FUCK YOU 

AND YOUR FUCKING SHITTY OPTIMISIM

FUCK YOU BECAUSE I WILL LIVE IN THIS HELL BECAUSE IT’S MINE 

it’;s mine 

and i live in it 

and i think thats why i find it comfortable 

i rarely lose it anymore but right now i just cant keep my sit inside my fucking head anymore 

im fine 

im going to be fine 

im trying but im just fucing lying