have you ever thought about the routine of every day life. it’s not smooth and it’s not easy. the sheets we sleep on know our every emotion. the threads absorb your scent and the pillows hide your tears. everything we wake up to is soaked to the core with feelings. whether you wake up to the abuse walking out your front door on their way to work or the repetitive annoyance that reminds you of what you have to do today. it all seems simple, but the reasons you don’t want to wake up tomorrow are completely difficult. if only i could turn away today’s problems the way i can turn the shades to hide the light in my bedroom. 

when i was younger, i woke up to birds. now, i wake up to silence and my brain yelling curse words at me. 

fuck i have to get up. dammit i have work today. i just don’t feel like living today.

and really, life is just a matter of finding a reason to live. how to feel like you’re actually alive. what is life now-a-days? caffeine addicted adults waking up at 4 am to another day of office work. 

and its the routine that breaks everyone down in the end, the routine broke me down. it’s like erosion of humans. and the layers of rock build up, and build up and they either create beautiful mountains or they fall apart. 

so many of us fall apart.